(MFGH) Let's do some more work on the role of Indigo in mind, etc.
(me) okay.
(MFGH) do you have any questions?
(me) I guess I want to know more about the Second Creation and if there is an Indigo Woman and my role there.
(MFGH) One thing I have alluded to is Lucifer's participation in the Second Creation. Again, it is important to sort out the original Second Creation from the later reenactments. To set the scene: We have had our first taste of Manifestation. We have had our first experience of Other—Other as adversary. We have had our first experience of Forgetting, and our first experience with the Void. From one perspective, we were still One, exploring all of the corners and edges of the Universe, but from our experience of it, we had lost that consciousness, we had lost our connections with each other, we were experiencing Loss for the first time. And this tremendous grief did not even have a name. It did not remember what it was missing. And the Mother carried this grief in her essence.
The part of Heart that was still with her—most of Heart, actually—had the impulse for connections, for reaching across the void, for traveling forth. I am speaking of the Yang polarization of her heart right now. There was also the Yin aspect of it, which wanted to receive the Light, which was doing its best to draw it to her.
We have spoken of the guilt that the Yang part had, for reaching so far out that it split off from the rest of her, but we have not spoken of the guilt that the Yin part had for "drawing the smack" as it interpreted events. This part has been confused because it feels it is more than just the victim here, it feels that it was the reason that the smack came. It has identified with the Mother and the Mother's position, but it has felt uneasy about this because it has also identified with the Daughter-as-perpetrator role.
It has felt as if the Mother had a big target painted on her that said "hit me," and it has felt like the center of that bull's eye.
There is guilt in both Mother and Daughter for wanting penetration, for wanting the Light to reach down all the way into the core and beyond. If we add some dimensionality to this image, imagine that the target is painted on the surface of the Will, with Yellow just under the surface and Orange and Red deeper in. Yellow pointed the way to Red, or rather, was the Doorway to Red. It drew the light and opened to the light, but then there was unloving light to contend with, and by the time that this moved towards the Will, Yellow did not know to close.
Orange and Red had not fully opened yet, and this was in part why they got blasted away by the unloving light. It did not have any where to go when it was not received, and so pushed on the essence instead.
So what does all of this have to do with the Second Creation?
Indigo foresaw this on some level. Indigo knew that there was Light essence that wanted unlimited speed and did not "care" how it felt to receive this light. In fact this essence did not really understand that the other end of its polarity, the Will, was what opened space for the Light to speed into. Because it was on the leading edge of Creation, it did not perceive anything "out in front" of it opening space. At this very edge was pleasure, was the Joy and Ecstasy of Virgin Penetration, and it never wanted it to stop.
This essence, this momentum, was unleashed in the Original Explosion that sundered Original Heart into the "pieces" of Deity. It was what was needed to push on the Will's squeeze. This was the first "permission" to rev up as fast as it could go. For this essence, the explosion was Orgasmic. It has sought to recreate this experience from an imprint level. It imprinted that it's orgasm was what "killed" the Will, and to kill the will was Orgasmic.
So while what gave it its orgasm was the resistance that the Will provided, it imprinted that any resistance must be broken through. It "loves" to find any places of closing down and saying no that the Will has, because it receives pleasure to push through this resistance. Thus rape, torture, violating boundaries, and everything that is the opposite of Love was born.
And it is very important to understand that this isn't a "discreet imprint" that only a part of the light had. ALL of light imprinted at the moment of the original explosion. All of light is connected to this end of its continuum. And therefore, all of light has had to deal with its guilt about being aroused by the Will's suffering.
Parts of the Will imprinted that orgasm = death (and therefore death = orgasm) as well. Especially the part that was at the interface of the separation of Light and Will, i.e. Heart.
And this essence has had guilt as well, guilt that it is aroused by its own sacrifice.
(me) wow…
(MFGH) So now let us shift gears and talk about what happened to this "unloving" light after the original explosion, and how different segments of it came back towards the Central Universe and interacted with the other Parts in the progression of the creations.
You may have seen diagrams of the reflection of light by a mirror.
(me) specular reflection and concave mirror reflection>
(MFGH) When the light reached the "edge of the Universe" (when it exceeded the speed at which the Will could open space) it "bounced back" towards the Central Universe.
And as I mentioned before, when it did this, it had (re) imprinted from its encounter with absolute limitation, with what is essentially absolute sexual frustration. Except now that it had a "direction" for its rage, and that was towards what set the limits, the Will. So when it bounced back, it had a new intent—to find the source of this boundary, and break the boundary (which amounted to killing the Will.)
Now we will complicate this with three variables: One is that the light is expanding in all directions (not just one single ray); two is that the edge of the Universe is Concave (as the Origin was one point, and all points on the edge are expanding at the same speed, which generates a sphere); and three is that the edge of the Universe is moving outward.
With the first and second complications, the consequence is that unloving light is virtually everywhere.
(me)
(MFGH) With the third complication, the consequence is that unloving light is reflecting back to us virtually at all times.
(Note: Our solution to this is a bit complicated, but it involves allowing the light that desires to go faster than the Will wants to, to do just that, by penetrating this boundary of space and becoming lost light, with no will presence, but then to prevent it from "bouncing back" at the Central Universe by positioning a layer of "guilt" as the boundary around the edge of the Universe which the light will not be able to penetrate. In occult modeling, this is the "Ring-Pass-Not" in its right place. Also note that there will be no space for the lost light to expand into here.)
So we have a model of the conflict between light that wants unlimited speed and the speed that the Will can open space for light, and I am hoping that you can see that this is a dynamic process, as the rate of expansion for both the light and the Will are in a constant acceleration. There is always light that is frustrated, no matter how fast the Will expands, and it is always being turned back at the edge of the Universe towards the center, no matter which Creation we are talking about.
I am making this sound like it is a constant, smooth dynamic, but in fact, it was not, as there were build ups of the light before the release of the orgasm in each successive Creation.
