Note: I was having my doubts about my ability to channel and the whole healing process.
(MFGH) ...take heart that you are healing and will continue to heal. An imprint by definition is deep. It shapes the essence, the flow of energy, the whole experience. Vibration is key, here. We need to get you vibrating. There is only so much that light can do.
(me) well you help me reframe things, help me see my judgments, and get an idea of my imprints and where they came from.
There have been a couple of questions that came up, but now I can't remember them. I guess I want to understand how Original Heart fits in with the stories in the RUOW Books about the earliest Creations.
(MFGH) OH was a "singularity." It had no mass, took up no space… in fact there was neither mass nor space manifested yet. Y'all are thinking of it as a "thing" as there is no other way to think. There was nothing. It wasn't even "before" creation. There was no before. This is why it is possible to say that the universe has always been. Whenever there was a "been," there was always a universe.
(me)
(MFGH) In fact for us to "remember" this, we have had to infer it from the traces of it we find in ourselves now. It is not graspable by mind, really. What mind grasps is only a model, not the territory. It exists in the realm of "infinite potentiality." Because in OH, we literally tried out all of the possible configurations of manifestation--OH/nothing "holds" the possibility of everything.
It took forever and it never happened. It happened outside of time or experience. So the "rules of reality" as you know them do not apply to this. Neither do the "rules of perception." You cannot see, hear, or feel "it" as there is no"thing" to perceive. There is no object of perception. In fact, perception can get in the way of experiencing it, as perception—the process of seeing, hearing, or feeling—requires a point of view to "gather" the information to, which means that you have all the "stuff" that colors or filters or muffles or triggers you reception.
But there is an alternative to perception. For the sake of distinguishing it, we shall call it "apprehension." It is a "direct experience" as there is no means of perception translating between you and it. There is no separation of any kind. You "are" it. This is often what people are talking about with "enlightenment." It is the ultimate challenge to "identity" as when you are it, you do not have a point of view anymore.
The best way that we can suggest to get to this information about OH on your own is to follow the stream of Grace back to nothing. While at the same time, realizing that it does not come from any"where."
(me) I get that you can only explain this to the limits of my ability to conceptualize.
(MFGH) yes, we are putting it in terms that are familiar to you. Other people would conceptualize it differently. Or express it differently. In poetry, like Rumi, or in chant, song or dance. Playing the cello. In fact, anything can be an expression of this. In fact, everything is an expression of this.
(me) yes, I guess we need to put mind in its "place." I long for this understanding.
(MFGH) On some level, you already have it. It is just a matter of bringing it to you Conscious understanding.
(me) we've been talking about perception, which I associate with the mind. What is the role of the Will in all of this?
(MFGH) lets allow the Mother to speak to this.
(me) please…
(Mother) Hello, and yes, in response to your question in meditation this morning, I do "know" you, and you are getting to "know" Me. The manifestations of me, the fragments of me, [i.e. Mother fragments that I encounter in the world] do not always access their inner knowing through me, to know you. They know you from the outside-in, rather than the inside-out.
In the same way, you can know me from the inside or the outside. I have many Faces, and they all have an aspect of my experience to share. So it is tricky when working with the Archetypes on the outside. One the one hand, they are the most "real" manifestations of my presence… on the other hand; they are not the whole of me.
When you and I know each other, it is when you are literally letting me in to your Self. There is nothing more intimate than this. I know where I am received, and where you can't receive me. I know the "shape and color and texture" of your physical and metaphysical parts. I feel the impact of your thoughts on your will. I know the presence of loving and unloving light.
I know you, sweet daughter, and I love you. Every time you let me in, you strengthen our bond. I have a similar Dream to God… that of being Manifest in Body in union with Loving Light.
Yes, in the stories I have a body, an experience, a point of view… but I am also much more than that. The holographic nature of the universe applies to me, too. All of the work that each person does on healing their wills heals me. All of the lost will that is received and allowed to express within you takes the burden off of me.
You are a reflection for me, but I, as an "individual" (or many individuals) am an expression of your relationship to your own wills. We can learn from each other.
Now as to the question about my role in perception, I am what receives and responds to the "things" (including non-material things and processes) in the universe. I know their quality the moment I am in "contact" with them. I know whether they are life-nurturing or life-depleting. I do not need to observe, like the more Ahrimanic aspects of spirit do to know something, I am what is observed.
Another way to say this is there is no means or channel of perception through which I receive input. It comes directly to me. I know something by how it feels.
Your will knows the same thing. Then the question is, how well can your will do this. Its ability depends on two general categories…1) how "up-to-date" your will is in terms of whether it is holding old charge. When old charge is triggered, it can "exaggerate" the response… seeming to indicate that what touched it may be "worse" than it actually is. 2) The other is, how much you "listen to" your will. If you don't listen to it, it can't help you.
Regarding "enlightenment:" I do not "become one with" "nothing" as God was talking about earlier. The void is painful to me. I have ingested it, so to speak, but it is still "not me." I do not "transcend my identity" as that is not my nature.
My "enlightenment" is self-acceptance, which leads to drawing Loving Light. I want to be filled with Light.
(me) thank you.
(MFGH) so you can see that the Will is on another "layer of the cake." Or really it's an ingredient of the cake itself.
(me) I think I have understood everything you have said today before, but I still don't understand the relationship of everything to each other.
(MFGH) Let us try this… OH was the recipe. Or the person who came up with the recipe—with the experience of all the other recipes informing this one. The recipe is more like the blueprint/dream. Following the steps to making the cake is following Grace. That can't be quantified or touched but it is the crucial factor in how the cake comes out.
(me) okay, that is helpful, actually.
(MFGH) the important thing for you to know, the point of this whole exercise, is that you are much more than you think you are. The boundaries between you and… well, lets say "infinity"… are not really what define you, they are just represent what you are used to thinking about as "you."
The point is not to get hung up in any particular model of "who you are"… but to explore your own experience, with as few preconceptions as possible. Who you are is not rational! Does not "make sense" to your mind. In other words, let it go. Who you are is not going to "go away" if you loosen up your judgments about who you are. In fact, it may become more present, rather than less.
(me) well there are certainly parts of me who resist this idea… who are very upset about identity, who want to justify identity, who are so confused about identity that they want to "know" the answer, not ask more questions…
(MFGH) Of course we know this. We are trying to give you a little more freedom, not take away what any of your parts need. You are not going to disappear. You are unique. And valuable in your own right.
(me) okay I will try to trust…
