Original Cause of Heart Son and Heart Daughter

2006-10-29

(MFGH)
You have judgments and held emotions about not having what you want. Especially sexually. Again, it is important to let all the parts of you work with and through these issues. One way to do this is to review/tap into the desires and frustrations of each of your chakras.

Red has a desire to control. It is really frustrated. There is rage there that doesn't care if it survives. It has not been received. It has all of the energy that is needed for survival on the planet. It both wants to hold back and release the Kundalini.

Islam is where the Red Spirits and the Ronalokas find common ground. Give yourself permission to rage at and fear these "terrorists." The Mother Warriors control and pull strings there just like the Father Warriors do here. They are based in denial--the Mother's denied rage to kill the Father and take down his Creation. This had built up from previous Creations. Kali, Pele, Demeter and other forms of the Goddess are reflections of this.

Your own fear of Jeweliet [my Red parental aspect] needs to be gone into. This fear is more than just Yellow's terror of triggering the Blue gap. This fear is the imprint that it needs to keep these two forces (Red and Blue) apart, or else they will tear apart creation in their rage. Yet Red's held rage needs to move up and out through the Chakra system. The Main Etheric Body of God has to hang together enough to facilitate this movement.

You have to receive your part—your rage that you pushed back and down. It has rage at you! Its rage needs to move through you. You have to give your true response to it so that it can be received freely.

Your denied rage can look like the Mother raging at you. Besides holding your denied rage, she needs to receive and move her own rage at you first, so that she can receive you.

(me) I want to say to Mother—why are you withholding your rage at Heart Son? Maybe he needs to receive your rage for his own healing process. What are your judgments against expressing rage? What is your rage doing out there in a state of denial?

Of course these are things that I need to say to myself. But this is my trigger right now.

(God) yes, Daughter has some rage about getting the brunt of the Mother's rage and Son being protected from it. And yes Daughter has caught some of the Mother's rage at Son.

This has also worked in the reverse—Son has rage about receiving Father's rage while Father was protecting Daughter. Not to mention keeping her for himself.

This is in part why my rage at Daughter in the Indigo book didn't feel good to you. I (Spirit) was channeling some of my rage at Father, at you. I had been focusing on moving my rage at my Body about embodying the Smack at the Mother, but hadn't yet gotten to my rage at him for his abuse of you.

Father's rage at Daughter has gone through her to the Mother. So it seemed to me like you were not "getting" it or receiving it. It didn't seem fair. My guilt about my participation in smacking the Mother was also fueling my rage at Daughter. I had unmoved rage at myself.

What Daughter has reflected to me here is that I did not feel into the whole situation before acting in a way that translated my rage into hurtful words. I really wanted to smack you/Her there. I wanted to see you be moved into remorse and somehow this would be translated into love and respect for the Mother's pain.

I did not see your pain there. I did not see that you were acting out your pain. I did not see that you were passing on the abuse that you had received. I did not see that you had no where to go with your rage, given the lack of acceptance that all of Us had for it. I did not understand why you had rage at Son there. I still don't understand all of it, but I am learning. You can teach me.

(me) I am overwhelmed. Please continue.

(God) Daughter has rage at Son, but this needs to be understood within the context of the Whole Story. And she needs to access her rage, not only so it doesn't continue to act out in a state of denial. We all judged it very harshly. But it can give her and us the understandings we need. Like the Mother's rage, it has consciousness.

I fear that in my rage at Daughter in the Indigo book, I pushed Daughter's rage farther into denial. I thought that I would get it right back at me. And I did, though more from some essence than from others. What my smack did was fuel the fire of everyone else's rage at Daughter. This did have to move, but I gave the idea that it should move "at" the Daughters. The operative word here being "should." I needed to move, but not necessarily in the ways that it did.

The self-doubt that you had was not expected by me. Your Rage looked so damn sure of itself. I did not see what it was defending. I thought my desire for a Son first was quite reasonable. I thought your rage about being second was unreasonable.

Yet as I have looked closer, and as you all have moved your response to all of this, I am starting to connect the dots.

You were actually called into manifestation by the Father before I was ready. I thought My Heart should make the first move. You and the Father already bonded before I could bond with the Mother. He usurped my role there, or so I believed, while I was still "holding back" from his perspective.

I pushed Male Heart essence down, which gave it room at the bottom to squeeze out and connect with the Mother. It "missed" you. You were really the target. Instead of coming out through my heart to the Mother's heart, the heart essence there bypassed each other.

You fled upwards, missing him. You were fueled by the Mother's incredibly strong desire there. Her desire was backed up, and it pushed you towards the object of her desire. She tried to follow you, but you did not want any more pressure from her, so you kept her back and down.

I am speaking of you as if you are representing all of Daughter, which I know you are not. Let me switch back to a more objective mode for the time being.

There was a series of explosions at the top between Father, Daughter and Mother and a series of implosions at the bottom between the Mother and Son.

Female Heart was not so present at the bottom to mitigate the entry of Son into Mother. That was not actually supposed to happen. We have a vision of what the Heart-centered connection would have been like, but we have to work with what actually happened.

There were consequences for the top and the bottom. At the top, Purple, Indigo and Blue were blasted apart. I could not get in. The Mother was trying to reach Me at the top, but you and the Father would not let us move through you. The connection was not made.

This was all supposed to happen in Green, with Male Heart bridging the space between you and the Male side, and you bridging the space between the Mother and Us.

Another consequence is that the Mother's Body did not even get a chance to Manifest, but that is a whole other story that I will not go into here.

At the bottom, Red got sexualized. This is not wrong, as we have come to understand the connection between survival, making love, and procreation. But it overloaded Red, especially on the Mother's side. My rage at the Father going first without me and not letting me in got pushed through Male Heart there and into Red Will.

Red has long been trying to return this rage to me. And unfortunately it has tried to do this through Red Male Heart, with the disastrous consequences you have seen in the suicide bombers. It needs to go "up," not "out." There is no one to receive it going "out."

The explosive quality of orgasm is not wrong, but it has its roots in being a release from being backed up.

(me) I got that the Mother wasn't there to receive the light that Father and Blue Woman were making, and that Heart was absent from Green to channel it down anyway…

(God) yes, it did not go through Green as much as rolled over it down to where it could be grounded in the Will.

This whole experience is why I make such a big deal out of Right Place. There was a right place for each of us, but we did not know what it was until after the fact. And then parts were missing, or Lost, from the Main Body. And then we were creating, and our creation was reflecting all of our original experiences and the way that they shaped us.

We also lost consciousness of what went on before—actually what is more accurate is that we didn't have linearity, so to speak, to help us organize our experiences. Some of our memories were from Original Creations, and some were reenactments in this Creation. We have had to go far back into our earliest experiences. "Back and down," actually.

(me) can you tell me more about Daughter's and Son's role in the beginning?

(God) Their roles were both a result of and causal to the necessity of the two polarities of electromagnetism… "spectrumizing" is the best term I can come up with. Heart simultaneously receives and sends. It "pumps" the Great Circulation (that did not happen in the beginning).

It's right place is in the middle, but there is a lot of charge from all sides about this. For one thing, the parental parts don't trust Heart. It either "does our bidding" when it shouldn't, or "resist our instructions" when it should receive us. We have very mixed feelings about it being a separate entity with its own point of view. Heart's point of view can help us all find the balance we seek and of course help us bond, but we did not experience balance or bonding in the beginning so we did not understand what was possible.

We needed to move some of our charge at each other first, because it could have blasted you once again if it went though you. In fact that is the cause of my "mistake" in the Indigo book with your aspect of Daughter—I had not moved enough of my rage at Body. Or Son.

At the same time, you (Heart, Sons and Daughters) are in the Gap, and I have said that Heart needs to be born in the Gap. This means within you. You are the seeds of this rebirth. This is a four-way reconnection, with you in the middle of it. So you have to connect outwards towards the three of us, while we have to work on receiving what you have to give us. Then there is the issue of you being the conduit.

First you have to give us old information, or charge, that you are holding. It doesn't matter if this is an old packet of vibration from one side or the other, or if it is your held response to this packet when you first were asked to "mail" it. You need to vibrate the kinks out and allow essence to go where it needs to.

A lot of you are holding on to stuff, because you "can tell" that we won't be able to receive it. If this is happening in outward reflections, then give it to Us in your inner or private work.

It is also very important to move your sexual issues, so that you are actually making Love and not feeding denials. Ask Us to be present with you. Move your fears and shame about participating in sex with us.

We are trying to build new energy bridges in old forms. There is another lesson about manifestation here, but I will close now.

(me) thank you.