Mother on beauty

2007-02-13

[Note: I was triggered in some email processing into an experience where I felt an appendage coming out of my heart chakra like the stamen of a flower waiting for the bees and butterflies to come and pollinate me. It was incredibly painful not to get light, acceptance, validation, etc., for this part. I felt that something was missing, and it hurt. I did not know what to do about this, except just be with it.]

(Mother) now you have a sense of my longing, and a sense of how I experienced my heart. Imagine my pain when this part of me left to go with what I was longing for.

(me) I don't know if I can imagine that, but it the experience did help me to get what it was like to "dangle" the heart "out there"—and I saw how it could be experienced as "bait."

(Mother) yes, it is an extremely sensitive part, and an extremely desirable part. The other side that "gobbled it up" just wanted the "bait" and did not recognize that this was part of me, that this was my offering… and that I would provide the grounding and depth to the relationship…

the gap between my heart and the rest of me is in part causal to the pattern of "falling out of love"…

this is also causal to female heart's sacrifice imprint. this has not been looked at. but there is a lot of sacrifice in "trying to get a man" and all of the machinations that women go through to "catch" one.

this is also causal to resentment between women—women who refuse to do this resent the women that do it, because the ones that do it end up getting the man.

beautiful women have an unseen privilege… "beautyism" is barely recognized as a phenomenon. People have deeply held judgments that beauty is a reflection of a choice that the essence made, and assume that the essence was "rewarded" with beauty. as you know there is all kinds of research about attribution that beautiful people get the benefit of the doubt.

And there is some truth to this, and I love beauty… its just that some of what is ugly is a manifestation of judgments against the will and what the will is holding… which is especially frustrating when what we are holding actually belongs to the person who is judging us…

with acceptance, the "beauty" of creation can be seen—"through" the ugliness. and with healing, the essence manifesting ugly will be able to return to its original beauty.

when you see something ugly, note your response… you may have revulsion… and it is important to get to the bottom of this. what has been "dumped" there, into it?

the "beautiful" parts of the world are able to maintain that because they send their "trash" elsewhere. they put a lot of energy into the appearance of beauty. there is confusion that the appearance = essence. this is a fundamental truth, but it gets "messed up" when denial is present.

So whether you are beautiful or ugly, you need to reach across the gap there and find your opposite part. If you are beautiful, where is your ugliness? why is it ugly in the first place? what original judgments were put on it? If you are ugly, where is your beauty? this is a part of you. It belongs to you. you can have it. you deserve it. what are you holding in your compassion for lost will that you can release back to it's parental part now?

It is important to understand that there are some parental pieces that are opening to their lost will, and so the mother pieces can start to release what they are holding. It is also important to understand that some other parental pieces are NOT opening to their lost will, and so the mother pieces don't feel right about releasing this.

please do not blame or judge the mother pieces here. they can only release as fast as there is reception for what they are releasing. they do not want to loose any aspect of the will that wants acceptance.

the exception to this rule is unloving light. All pieces need to release this. God has acceptance here, and will redeem it or put it in its right place. you do NOT have to hold this any more.

I know many of you are terrified that in moving out the unloving light, the will presence holding it will get even more denied and lost. You need to move your terror here, because you are actually clamping down on the process. The will can be trusted—if it is allowed to go through its own process. If you get the will vibrating that is holding the unloving light, it can release it.

And your intention and judgment releases can help this process. But don't hold back because of this fear.

We all need to work together. We all have different tasks. Please, if you don't understand the healing process of a different kind of "part," don't rush to judgment. You can't evaluate the progress of somebody else by the steps on your own path.

And if you are not clear about your own path, then forgive yourself here. There is good reason for you to be confused. And if you judge you own path as wrong, you need to release this judgment as well. This is deeply held in the will.

Lack of trust in the will being able to heal is a form of terror. This may need to move first before other layers can begin to move.

Remember that judgments are best release when the will that is "holding" them is vibrating. With the intent to move them out, and the intent to receive Loving Light, healing can happen fairly quickly.

(me) thank you. I am getting that I should put this up ASAP.

(Mother) yes.

Emergence Point

2006-11-24

[note: they were talking both about my personal emergence point and everyone's emergence point]

(MFGH) there is a "beginning point" in your consciousness… an "assemblage point" if you will…that is the most "core you"… or rather, the most central point of your point of view…it has the quality of perception, of distinguishing itself from what it is perceiving… the origin of duality… the origin of "reality" and then experience over time… [hubby adds: the origin of the experience of "self."]

for each of these points, the beginning is like a little "big bang"… and at the beginning of each point of view is the pattern that represents the truth about that place/time… the "DNA" of that being, on a metaphysical level…

you did not choose where you were in the Greater Body of God… but you chose when you were--when you emerged…and so your responsibility is not in your essence, but in your original "decision" to emerge as a separate entity… and this decision can be understood by understanding the story of the Greater Forces up to that point…

there is always an original judgment there… even if it is only "time for Me-ness"… but most commonly, it was in reaction to what had happened up to that point…

the decision that you made, that we talked about before… is key to understanding you experience, since that time… to be Heart, before Heart emerged, before the function of Heart could be in place, before it was manifested by the making love of the parental parts… is the conundrum that you have been trying to understand…

in fact "you" go back to the virtual reality of Original Heart… you/y'all/We thought we knew what would happen in the experience of separating, but we did not know… we were the ultimate in inexperience, without even knowing that there was a distinction called "experience" that had a cumulative effect on the being of an entity…

in Original Heart there was no imprinting, experience was always fluid and could always be "reset" to zero… the history of what went before was not damaging, in the ways it is in manifestation… and this is the great mistake that God made for so very long… not even realizing that this was his core assumption about reality, that there were no consequences, which made it so very hard for him to understand the Mother's experience…

So in your "metaphysical DNA" is the history of Everything that led up to your decision to emerge… and your being is the Manifestation, the Birth of that history… you were reflecting to the Universe "this is what you get if you were to Create at this moment in time from this place in the Body"… you were Information to the Cosmic Evolutionary Path. Feedback.

But you did not really know what it would be to Experience life as that manifestation. You did not foresee the consequences of emerging then, any more than we did in the very beginning. Many of you have felt that you made a terrible mistake… that your original decision was wrong, since you have had so much pain as a "consequence" of it.

But you need to forgive yourself there. We all have experienced pain; there was no emergence point that would have been better for you, that would have allowed you to escape the pain, or prevent the pain. You did not do it wrong.

Yes We have judged it as wrong, so there is a reason that you have felt guilty… but We are releasing this fundamental judgment against you, as we are releasing it against ourselves.

A huge part of Us has felt that we never should have manifested in the first place, when we split Original Heart… We have felt that the pain was not worth the outcome… We have had very angry parts of ourselves…

yet the irony is there is literally no one but ourselves to "blame." If we are parental (and ultimately, everyone can trace their path back to Original Heart), we have to own that we made the decision… out of Love…

What a horrible/beautiful understanding… it is almost beyond comprehension, if you are to embrace the totality of what happened… in fact it has been beyond comprehension, as we did not see the role of denial or understand the manifestation of the Gap… our core identities were not able to comprehend what our consciousness was denying…

Nor did we understand that the Void had a kind of "reversal-consciousness" that would be disturbed by Manifestation… that would give rise to the Smack… the asuras that want only to get out of the trap of Manifestation and return to an un-manifest state… and would kill everything to do this.

The participation of this denial energy in the history of creation has not been seen clearly, either. It has "aligned" with every impulse to deny, push away, or kill another and given it the quality that you call "evil"… this is the Shadow of Manifestation itself… the "cost" of manifesting, so to speak… disturbing the Void and mixing asuras into manifestation...

again, this is a question of right place. when the gaps are healed, then this energy can go back into the void, outside of Us… we won't be giving it a place among Us…

So. This is just part of the lesson, just the background. What you did in particular to end up with bipolar is your own personal story in relation to all of this. How do you think it fits together?

(me) well I am kind of going off of what you said before, that I made the decision to embrace the polarities as they were without much heart presence to mitigate their extremes or integrate them. That makes the most sense to me. I am not quite sure how this translates to the Indigo experience yet. I have been trying to understand that part for a long time. I have put it as "how did I get from the bottom of Yellow up to Indigo? How did I emerge at both places at once?"

(MFGH) well to put it simply, you embraced these two polarities. But first we have to understand who the "you" is that embraced this.

There are many, many branches of Heart. You could almost take any two points along the spectrum and find a Heart Presence trying to balance the two. They do not all gather "in Green" so to speak. Indigo is the Heart between Purple and Blue. Orange is the Heart between Yellow and Red. And heart positions resonate with other heart positions.

There is also the Heart presence between any two Main Parts—your hubby is the perfect example of this, trying to balance Body and Heart. There are aspects of diety that are between Spirit and Heart, Will and Heart, Will and Body, Spirit and Body... Do these have a color? no, not exactly. But they have resonances with the issues in other "heart" colors.

But your emergence point of view was actually previous to the manifestation of the Rainbow. The Lens to break up the light hadn't quite emerged yet. (Form.) So your point of view did not get a physical form until the Heart Daughters manifested. That was the closest form to you.

And this also goes back to Original Heart. The beautiful forms manifesting colors beneath the lens of FOM's gaze was a virtual experience there that was very pleasing and much anticipated as a manifestation out in Reality. So it was not wrong. But the consciousness in and from Original Heart did not anticipate the Mother's point of view or experience there. We had no way to deal with it, let alone know it in the totality of our being.

So yes, you feel Parental to the Daughter Hearts… in that you had a self-organizing consciousness that preceded many other emergence points. This is part of why you have felt so responsible for the Daughters' gaps. In your OOOC imprinting, you felt that you were causal to the gaps between the Original Parents, as you did not bridge them, you did not keep your "parents" together, and this original gap was parental to many of the other gaps. And from another point of view (Original Heart's), your "parents" are more like your children, so there is yet another layer of responsibility.

The Godchannel has not focused on this Original Guilt, as that has not been my mission there. I have wanted to give voice to not-guilt, to help people balance out the terrible voices that have been plaguing them since before the beginning.

But these feelings must be addressed, and particularly by people in your position. The gift of guilt here is helping you to get in touch with your "responsibility"—and thus your Power.

(me) thank you.

imprints

2006-11-24

(MFGH) there is an aspect to understanding imprints that I would like to bring forward now.

Imprints are like keyholes that draw unloving light that fits them. Or another way to say this is the light shines down, but only gets through the keyhole shaped by the imprint.

So the power to change the dynamic is to change the shape of the keyhole. Not to stretch the metaphor too thinly, but this needs to be done by the essence that is creating the shape—the will. You have to believe that you can change the shape, that it is okay to do so—which is facilitated by judgment release. Then you have to vibrate to make the change. This will draw "new" light, or light that fits the new shape.

And from the other direction, starting with vibration and moving to judgment release, as you vibrate you can become conscious of the keyholes that you have.

When you give Lucifer or someone power, you are reifying* the keyhole into the category of "reality." You can also be holding the judgment that "I deserve it" or "I am the victim here"—not being aware of the power you have to change the dynamic, by changing the shape of the keyhole.

This is why the light feels that the will side is responsible, is actually drawing the smack. What they are drawing is more of the same light, what fits the original imprint, from the original smack.

In a person, there has to be a consciousness that something else is possible. this can come from many directions, for example, from new loving light, or from a heart intervention, or from will support, or from body's response. Whatever works.

So yes, it is true that unloving light is still "attacking" the will, and it is still responsible for this perpetration… but it is also true that the will has the power to deny this light. Having good boundaries is being conscious of your keyholes… and also knowing when to open and close the door.

*to regard or treat something abstract as if it had a concrete or material existence

meds

2006-11-18

[note: this is an excerpt from a conversation about mainstream and alternative treatments for bipolar symptoms]

(MFGH) One of the problems with man-made medicine is that it has no consciousness of its own that you can dialogue with. There are also other energies that are carried with them besides just their chemical make up. They also carry the history of their manufacture, and even (faintly) the whole system that created them.

You can dialogue with the scientists that developed them, however. That might be useful.

(me) thank you. how would I dialogue with the scientists?'

(MFGH) well you could do it on the outside and the inside. We can help you talk to the Oversouls of those involved. Particularly those you have karma with.

A lot of people get involved with the science of making drugs because a loved one was afflicted by an illness and they want to help others with the same problems. They tend to be the heart people. Then there are the more Ahrimanic points of view. These people think it is a problem with body and it is their right place to fix it. Both people have to harden their hearts in order to do the testing, first on animals, then on people. And as you know, there is not a lot of openness to the kinds of information that the Will can provide, both from the researchers and the testees.

So it is not a very holistic process.

(me) what about the energy that wants to control the Will/Indigo?

(God) yes, and this goes way beyond just the medical system. There was a cultural shift from classifying Indigo people as "seers" during the Dark Ages. With the rise of Christianity, the problem was seen as one of demonic possession. And this was not wrong in many cases, as some problems were a result of Luciferian or asuric influences. So the Church got involved, which meant that the Purple gap and the gap between Purple and Indigo got involved too.

Now, as you know, many religious people feel that mental illness is a moral issue. They feel it is a matter of prayer and faith. And there is truth to this. But the Indigo people often have a resistance to this, because of bad experiences and judgments that they made in relationship to Me. Or else they swing the other way and feel guilt for not receiving me "correctly."

The chemical solution, on the other hand, is more of a Blue solution. This is a more blatant manifestation of the desire to control or shut down Indigo and the will. At this point they have so much control of the planet that "mentally ill" indigo "seeing" is not a threat. Other kinds of indigo seeing, such as the media, is a much bigger problem for them.

The chemical solution is not only a desire to control, it is also a desire to help. And also stems from a feeling of responsibility and guilt. Your suspicion that many psychiatrists have personal karma here does have some validity.

The shift from the "demonic" to the "illness" model is an improvement in some ways, given the Purple gap. But it shifted the focus from being a spiritual problem to being a physical one, and of course the solution then became a physical one. It would be more accurate to say that the problem is a combination of both, and so the solution is a combination of both. This is true of all illnesses.

Medical interventions can keep you alive and participate in life, but they do not solve the problem by themselves. You have to think carefully about the interventions you choose, and of course feel into them. It is hard to be clear because of the heavy cultural expectations about healing.

There is a very dangerous desire to exploit the "ill" person that manifests in all kinds of forms in both the standard medical and alternative medical contexts. Various original motivations combine with the profit motive and off they go.

The reason that it is dangerous is that the ill person does not get good information about their choices. The information is hidden or distorted or presented from an unnamed or even unrecognized point of view.

So you have to do your own due diligence.

Meanwhile, there are systems and healers that work with the Second Attention. In America, the mainstream culture has lost these bodies of knowledge, so you are having to either import it from other cultures or reinvent it. This has gone in two directions, 1) the self-help movement, including 12 step programs, and 2) New Age.

The benefit you have now is that you have many traditions to draw on, and a freedom to combine them in new ways. The down side is that it is hard to know what to choose, how to evaluate the various choices, and the practictioners may not have the benefit of apprenticeship.

I like the peer-to-peer model of getting assistance, because there is first hand experience with the problem and an empathy for the point of view for the person seeking help. But you may also require the assistant of experts outside of your pool of peers.

(me) is it really possible to heal mental illness (MI)?

(God) some of the healing is going to take place as the burden is removed from the fragments who are manifesting MI. Some of the healing is going to take place as the right place for seers is manifest in the culture. Some of the healing is going to take place as the folks with MI learn new strategies for coping with the symptoms. But some of it is going to be actual healing of the chemical imbalances and structures in the brain.

(me) if my BP is a mark of being a shaman, I don't know if I want to give it up. If it is part of my Indigo heritage, I don't know if I want to "heal" it.

(God) now that is self-acceptance!

(me) well of course I want the good stuff without the bad stuff. The depression sucks.

(God) It is possible to heal depression. But some lost will is very depressed, so as you bring more in, it will seem like you aren't making any progress.

Having a choice of when to work with depression would be a good goal for you to have. I know that a lot of your frustration is born from not feeling in control of when you work with each pole [depression and mania].

(me) I could live with that. Thank you.

comments

hi everyone,

I'm sorry if you tried to comment and couldn't. I had forgotten that I had set it to members only. Now anyone can comment.

~Sapphire

a little levity for your day

God, Inc.

more on Indigo

2006-11-13

(MFGH) The blue-purple aspect of Indigo is a layer that is important to understand as well. Indigo people could be said to be people who have a functioning indigo and who are playing the role that Indigo plays in the Greater Body on Earth.

So who are Indigo people? They can show up in all kinds of contexts. They are an aspect of all colors. Many have gone forth from their original Indigo family circle to help in the world. There is often a period of training or apprenticeship. There are often schools for them. These schools can have either a blue or purple slant, and often combine both.

The study of indigo skills branches out into other subject areas because having a functioning chakra allows you access to the second attention, which makes you more powerful no matter what you are doing. But the main branches are: sorcery, alchemy, healing, advising leaders, oracles, running an "eyes and ears" network, investigative reporting, visioning, divination, magic, ritual, shamanism, witchcraft, channeling, filmmaking, visualizing/graphic design, game design, animation, and it has a role to play in the visual arts in general.

(me) what about spying?

(God) usually the beneficiaries of the information are blue or purple, so to speak, and they use indigo people/teachings to spy. The will side of Indigo has not had the power to resist this directly. Indigo also has a history of secrecy. Secret societies, etc. One of the reasons that others don't trust them.

And as I said in the Indigo book, parts of Indigo were freaked out by this because it reminded them of the circling-in in Blue. So they (you) want to "break" the circle.

Indigo has also been the recipient of "lost" teachings, which is another reason that it has gone underground, to protect those that hold them.